Remembering the Suicide Survivors
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The prompt for this round of the FEDforum is: What is one area of law enforcement you think does not get enough attention? This week, hear from Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation (SBS).
All too often, people use the word “choice” when an officer takes their own life. It is not that the officers want to die; they wish for the unbearable mental pain to end.
The families of law enforcement officers who die by suicide are often forgotten, and their officer’s life is not correctly honored by their agency. Agencies struggle with how to honor officers who die by suicide. Leaders are concerned that by honoring them, they glamorize the event, leading to contagion suicides. There is no evidence to indicate that others will take their own lives by providing an honorable funeral. Society does not understand the long-term effects of the traumas faced by law enforcement daily. Everyone understands physical pain, but they do not understand emotional/mental pain.
As our nation honored the fallen heroes that died in the line of duty in October 2021, Survivors of Blue Suicide held its Inaugural National Law Enforcement Suicide Survivors’ Conference, Memorial Event, and Blue Light Vigil in San Antonio, TX. This event was the first time any law enforcement officer who died by suicide was formally honored and their sacrifice recognized.
One day they were part of the blue family, and the next, they have lost their officer and their blue family. This blue family is essential to the survivors being able to grieve and begin the healing process. These families need continued support from the agencies long after the funeral is over. They need to know that their officer will not be forgotten.
There are many ways an agency can stay connected and supportive of the family. Remember that “family” is not limited to the spouse and children; it includes parents, siblings, and other relatives. Keeping in contact with the family does not require a daily commitment. Simply remembering special occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, marriages, etc., reminds the family that the agency has not forgotten. Another way to keep connected is to have an annual memorial event, a 5k, a golf tournament, or a softball tournament, which brings the agency, the family, and the community together. If the event is a fundraising event, donate the proceeds to the family to help them attend the annual SBS conference as you would for families to attend National Police Week, contribute to the officer’s children(s) college fund, or another cause of the families choosing.
Sponsor and escort the survivors to Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation Conference as some agencies do for National Police Week. During the conference, survivors and co-workers have access to mental health professionals and workshops on managing their loss and also have the opportunity to honor their officers. This sends a clear message to the survivors that their agency will never forget.
As a surviving spouse who attended the Conference, Memorial Event, and Blue Light Vigil, so eloquently said, “The weekend was truly the best way to honor all of the officers. I really appreciated the extra law enforcement touches, like the Honor Guard, National Anthem, and bagpipes. The candlelight vigil at SAPD in which the officers gave us bracelets was great! And, well, there is no way to describe the Memorial. It was, and will remain, emotional and humbling to see my husband’s name inscribed there.”
As a parent also said after the weekend event, “this is the first day of the rest of my life; I can start living again with the help of SBS.” What made the SBS weekend extra special was my escort. He was a representative from my son’s federal agency. He was supportive and honored my son in ways I’ll never forget.” To see my son’s name engraved reminds me that his service will never be forgotten.”
This column from Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation (SBS) is part of the FEDforum, an initiative to unite voices across the federal community. The FEDforum is a space for federal employee groups to share their organizations’ initiatives and activities with the FEDagent audience.
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