When the Procession Ends
The past few years have been especially hard on the law enforcement community. On average, between 140-160 officers die in the line of duty each year. 2020 had a violent start with the majority of the deaths being from gunfire, and then COVID-19 hit and deeply impacted first responders.
When an officer dies in the line of duty, the majority of the nation catches a glimpse of the funeral. Citizens line the streets with salutes, the mile-long procession is filled with flashing lights, bagpipes fill the air with sounds of honor, officers come from all over the country, and the family sits in the front row waiting for the dreaded folded flag to be placed in their hands. A premonition every law enforcement family has had and deeply fears.
Stories of the officers’ lives are told. Seeing the looks on the faces of the spouse, kids, parents and siblings as their greatest fear becomes a reality. Watching tears run down the faces of men and women in uniform as their brother or sister in blue is laid to rest.
Afterwards, the officers who traveled so far go back and hug their families a little tighter. The bagpipes deflate. The families… the families remain lost in their grief. Everyone else goes back to their normal everyday life. A normal so many of us take for granted, yet no longer exists for the surviving family members and co-workers affected most.
Who do these survivors turn to when their grief is so overwhelming they don’t know if they will be able to get out of bed. So many people will tell them “I understand how you feel.” No person can truly understand unless they’ve been through it.
That is where Concerns of Police Survivors (C.O.P.S.) comes in. C.O.P.S. is a national nonprofit organization with the mission of rebuilding shattered lives of survivors and co-workers affected by line-of-duty death. They work with over 54,000 survivors nationwide.
C.O.P.S. is a group that knows grief doesn’t have a time limit. They know the feeling of having to tell small children their hero is never coming home. They know what it feels like to bury the love of their life and have their happily ever after shattered. They know what it is like to bury their child when life and death is not supposed to work that way.
When the procession ends, members of C.O.P.S.’ 55 chapters are there. Literally, they are there at the funeral. They connect with the agency to help with the funeral and to meet the family. They know what to say and what not to say because they have all been through it. All chapters are run by survivors.
C.O.P.S. helps the family for as long as they are needed. They provide resources such as assistance with benefits, getting the family to National Police Week to honor their officer, scholarships for the children and spouse, and hosting Hands-On Programs where survivors connect with others who have experienced a similar tragedy. The peer support between survivors is the heart of the entire C.O.P.S. organization.
Kelsey Young’s father, Denver (CO) Police Detective Donald Young, was killed in the line of duty in 2005 when she was just five years old. At such a young age, Young doesn’t remember the days surrounding the death but what she does remember is attending C.O.P.S. Kids Camp.
“What helped me the most was just being around other kids that knew what it was like to have a parent who was killed in the line of duty,” Kelsey said. “It changed my life forever.”
So, if you find yourself saying, “That poor family. I hope they will be ok.” You can rest easy, because eventually, they will be. C.O.P.S. will be there. If a survivor is struggling, they know they can call any member of C.O.P.S. This is the part of the blue family that nobody wants to be a part of, but if faced with it, this is the organization that helps families rebuild and gain hope again.
At C.O.P.S. events, there are a lot of tears, some anger, a lot of supportive hugs, and a lot of laughter. Yes, laughter. And when a survivor laughs for the first time after the death of their officer, I mean a deep in the belly, take your breath away, tears down the face kind of laugh, they realize they are on the upward climb to healing and being ok.
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