Navigating Shame & Stigma in the Aftermath of Loss
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The prompt for this round of the FEDforum is ongoing operations. This week, hear from the Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation (SBS).
Each year this nation loses more officers to suicide than are killed at the hands of others. With mental pain that is so great, law enforcement officers and agents feel their only option to end this pain is to end their lives. After taking their own life, they leave behind families and co-workers who now carry the pain of losing a spouse, father, mother, child, sibling, or friend. These families often have many unanswered questions, including "why" and "what did I miss?" Many receive little or no support from the agency, and their officers are forgotten, which only adds to their pain.
Every year on May 15th, this nation honors its law enforcement officers and agents who died in the line of duty. Thousands of people, including families of the fallen, law enforcement personnel, politicians, and anyone who wants to participate in the events surrounding this day, gather to honor these officers. Tragically these numbers keep growing. Historically, none of the officers honored died by suicide.
On July 23rd and 24th, 2022 Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation (SBS) held its 2nd Annual National Law Enforcement Suicide Survivors Conference and Blue Family Memorial Events in Indianapolis, IN. This weekend included sessions of grief and resiliency and was entirely focused on the surviving families and co-workers. The events were designed to help families navigate the aftermath of their loss and to honor our fallen heroes lost to suicide. The families participated in a Blue Light Vigil and a Blue Family Memorial event. These families and co-workers learned that they are not alone in their grief journey and their officers mattered. SBS honored any law enforcement officer/agent who died by suicide if a family member or co-worker attended the conference. One surviving spouse of an officer honored stated, “The memorial service, that was something else. That awakened an emotion that I have not experienced through this whole process, and that was the feeling that he was not forgotten, that what he did mattered, and he will forever be remembered. Coming home, everything is forgotten. No one talks about him, he’s not acknowledged, but now his name is on a wall to forever be remembered.”
Another survivor shared their experience, “It’s hard to put into words what this weekend meant to me. For almost 8 years I have struggled to find a home, a place where I felt supported in my grief and a place that also ensured my officers life would be forever remembered. I never imagined I would be in need of such support but I now know I will have the opportunity to feel supported and heal moving forward”.
The shame and stigma attached to suicide is very real and painful for the surviving families and co-workers. During this weekend these families did not feel the shame or stigma, they felt loved, honored and respected. The support and presence of law enforcement significantly impacted survivors. In the words of a survivor, “I didn’t know what to expect and I can confidently say both memorial events went above and beyond. Hearing my officers name called, seeing his name on the wall and being able to share pictures meant more than I can put into words. The local law enforcement presence at these events did not go unnoticed.”
SBS was proud to honor the life they lived not how they died. You can view the 2022 Memorial Video below.
This column from the Survivors of Blue Suicide Foundation (SBS) is part of the FEDforum, an initiative to unite voices across the federal community. The FEDforum is a space for federal employee and law enforcement groups to share their organizations’ initiatives and activities with the FEDagent audience.
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